Twenty-Five

It's been a long time since I've last written. I think mostly because there has been so many changes,  this has been a common theme of mine. Change.

Which isn't a bad thing. Depending how you look at it. To me, change freaks me out. Good or bad. My reaction is pretty much 'I don't want to land on my head when I know I'm going to land on my feet.' Like I know everything is going to be okay but I panic, I worry way too much when I shouldn't be. Someone told me yesterday that I literally worry for nothing. Which is true. I've come to realize that. 

And as much as I meditate and yoga I still panic, one of my character flaws that I'm working on. That should be added to my 25 year resolution to myself. 

Twenty-Five...I keep saying that number in my head and torture myself with thoughts of how I thought my life should be like by now. It's nothing like how I imagined and yet I'm glad it's not. I know I tell everyone 'OMG I'm 25, I'm so old! This quarter life crisis is a killer!' 

I woke up today and realized this isn't a quarter life crisis, this is my awakening. A quarter of a year old is when you start to realize things in life you never thought about. Or you have thought about it but you just filed it away in the back of your mind because you just weren't ready to deal with it. 

But I'm ready now. I've even started thinking about making a career change. My main goal in life is to be happy, be free from the social norms and be the best contributor to this world I can be. This is the prime time to make changes and chase after what you want. What I want. Whatever that may be or wherever the universe and God take me. 

The only thing that can hold me back from achieving anything is myself. Fear of change shouldn't stop us from letting life do its thing and showing us that not every change is bad.

FEAR; False Evidence Appearing Real

 

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xo Gerardine