Reflections

Alas...we made it into another year. So far so good, it's been about a week or so and I've never felt more determined in my personal growth. I used to think that everything had to be a certain way, and people as well, the world around me. But as my previous post I've mentioned just growing with the flow.

Life has a funny way of sitting us back and making sure we check ourselves out. I've been a bit imbalanced since leaving my previous job, daddy issues, health issues, just a bunch of things that made me realize how truly short life is. 

I honestly love fashion and beauty, but like I said before sometimes you just want something more to feed you than just temporary things. More like an add of of what I'm already doing but to make me feel complete, I just focus on my inner child, positive vibes, and cutting off things that aren't healthy for me. 

Health.. that's a really big thing I've been silently working on, I don't really want to get into it, but it's a work in progress, my anxiety, panic attacks,my skin, and ovaries. Just a bunch of things that just accumulated over 2016 that  made me snap out of my bubble and see what actually matters in life. Me. My health. Family.Friends. 

Family matters, I have been working on trying to get closer to my dad's family but every time I try to get to know them and know that I have to be alone to get to know them, my heart beats so fast that I feel as if my heart is sitting under my lungs. I can't breathe, I get nervous, I cry. For reasons that I'm starting to believe that my inner child has not yet healed from the pain of not having a father in my life. I struggle with this some days more than others, I never really had this issue until this year, I guess it's something my soul is ready to deal with. BABY STEPS PLEASE.

Friendships, I honestly love all my friends. Even if we aren't in a good place, right now in this present moment. Forever and will always love you. Honest to god, being there for each other and seeing how far we've all grown professionally and personally. It's one of the things that make me think about how life isn't all bad. And we feel less alone in life, because we all kinda go through the same growing pains of becoming adults. All we have is tomorrow, and each other in the good and the bad.

Relationships, uh...Don't really care what happens. I enjoy where I am right now, it's nice, I'm fully enjoying myself, whatever happens, happens. Not forcing anything, just letting life and my inner voice guide me to whomever sits well with my soul.

2017 goals/resolutions? I have some goals, but I learned that when you plan everything out and make yourself believe that you have to follow that set path you had in your head, it won't always work out. I have a lot of things in the works, but I also know that there's different paths to get to where I want to be, and that's ok too.

 

143 xo