These past two weeks, I've been opening my eyes up a lot more about myself and my surroundings. Do you ever feel like no one really takes you seriously and make your feelings feel like they're invalid or even low-key mock you? What about just brushing the things you say off or that no one is actually paying attention to you?
I didn't know how many times that's happened to me until I started thinking about it. I was shocked and disappointed in myself.
Yea, not fun.
I think I've reached a point where I am done being super nice all the time. I'm literally running out of my nice factor. I usually always brush things off and just pretend it doesn't really bother me but eventually there's only so much you can take and you wake up and realize you're 25 years old and getting tired of the way people treat you without them even realizing it and I guess they don't do it purposely. Hence, why I have to speak up more.
I will forever be the nice one, that's just who I am. But, I will be drawing the line a lot more now and using my voice. Because how is it that its acceptable for others to do it but when I do it people get mad ? Even comments like 'where's nice Geri' "whatever happened to happy Geri" piss me off like I'm supposed accept being pushed down and to the side and not stand up for myself? Because that's how I feel sometimes.
It's not something new, or that I've changed. It's always been in me, I just always go with the flow, I'm a free spirit, positive person, negative and drama environments drain the shit out of me, there are way bigger things happening around us that I just let things be.
I'm allowed to have a bad day, have an attitude and just have an overall moment of negativity because I am human. I can't be perfect-happy-positive-bouncy-Geri all the damn time.
& I'm so tired of always apologizing. I think I'm only apologizing when I actually do something bad and not apologize for who I am and how I'm feeling.
I think a lot of you can relate to that, if you're one way you most certainly can feel another and it's totally normal.
I've been having my distance and trying to just reflect on myself and see where I stand on a lot of things.
Starting last week, I've set up a list of goals I want to implement in my life. Such as, actually staying consistent with the gym, not even to lose weight, but as a form of staying in shape and including it as part of my everyday lifestyle. Another thing I'm trying to focus on more is posting more on my blog and social media platforms. I've been lining up blog posts to publish weekly. I just need a new macbook to edit my vids, because I want to get back on youtube and have an all around channel, from beauty, fashion, and wellness as well as some humor on there.
I need need to get my license, I failed big time on this. I was supposed to get in this summer but I kept pushing it to the side. This is something I really want to do. I want to drive. I also want to travel more with or without my friends. Hell, I even want to explore the rest of the U.S.
These are just a few of the things I want to accomplish and have as on-going part of my life objectives. Life's too short to be always planning and never actually doing. That's one of the things I do. But, I'm changing that. It's in the works.